How many of us have lost a loved one on this planet? How long has it been? Do you still feel sad, hurt, a hole in your life that they are gone? When you think of them, do you feel them close by to you? Does it bring tears to your eyes? Are you still in pain by their absence? Do you still feel the loss of them deeply?
I know I do.
This past week would have been my older brother, Phil’s 56th birthday. He’s been gone for twenty-one years now. He passed away exactly one week after his 35th birthday. Way too young.
I was turning 32 a month later. I was so angry that he was taken away so soon. Even though our childhood together, along with 3 other siblings was tumultuous at times, we seem to have worked everything out as adults and found such honor, love and respect for each other. I remember thinking how lucky and grateful I was that we still had a long life together…but it didn’t happen that way.
He knew he was dying and had specific instructions for some of us after he’d gone. Mine was to buy our mother a bouquet of colorful flowers and have them sent to her every year on the date of his birthday. I have never failed to do so and never will.
I still ‘talk’ to him. And when I do, I feel him with me. But what’s changed for me is the way I feel him. Whenever I would call upon him…then feel him near, I would become very sad and begin crying. So much so that every time I had this experience, that would be the place I would go…the sadness of missing him so deeply.
Then one day I realized…”Wait a minute. What if Phil is trying to communicate with me…even on the smallest level? And if he is, I am not able to hear his messages of any kind because I am too busy sitting in my sadness?”
Of course, knowing my brother the way I did, he would not want me to be sad, not for one second…and here I am still replaying that tape of sadness almost 20 years later!
So…the next time I felt myself missing him, then feeling him near, I chose to celebrate that moment with him ~ His presence and my presence. It was so peaceful. I didn’t think to ‘look for a message’ but trusted enough that if there was a message I was to receive, I was in an open place to receive it.
This was a profound change for me. Of course the older we get, it seems we begin losing more people that we love. So my list of loved ones no longer hear has grown…and the way I think of them now has grown. I think of them and feel them with love, light and joy.
No, I will never stop missing them (and probably will always be a little bit angry that they’re still not here to Be with), but I feel them and love them more freely now. And I think that with my doing so, I have not only released myself from an old emotional bond, but have released them as well. I love the gift in this for all of us. We are all free.
And I LOVE the idea of seeing my brother Phil FLY FREE!
~If you have a special story of a special Being that was present in your life, please share with us.
Be Good to Yourself ~ Be GOD to Yourself